Footprints in Time: A Personal Epilogue to 2023

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us…”

These famous opening lines by Charles Dickens perfectly summarize the year 2023 for me. 2023 marks so many of my personal and relationship milestones and I am so glad to have spent a good part of it among family. It brought back so many fond memories from my early years of marriage and also some much needed grandparent-time for the kids. However, the winter was definitely one of despair as I struggled with a strange sickness that revealed itself to be autoimmune, chronic, and mostly without a cure (but quite manageable, thankfully). But nothing prevents me from getting high on the Christmas and New Year spirit around me and find joy in the year that was spent well.

Let me evaluate how I fared in my goals this year. I had eight of them – early bedtime, step out of the house, control sugar, no new hobbies, read more memoirs and science books, 365 little things, stay in touch with friends and family and learn some one-pot meals. The kids and the school made it easy for me to meet my first two. My sugar intake, however, (color me embarrassed), in the name of introducing my mom-in-law to a variety of foods (especially desserts), I went on a sugar spree during the early fall and I am not really proud of it. So, there you go, I failed this and failed miserably. This definitely stays on the list for the next year. Moving on, no new hobbies, yes, I am glad I did not actively acquire a new hobby this year. I worked a bit on my writing, some singing, a little bit of drawing here and there, and of course, read some challenging books and took my time with the ones I loved. It helped that the summer was packed with activity, outdoors and I rarely found time to even think and write, let alone get a new hobby or acquire new material. (So no Cricut, Copics or craft paper purchases this year, and I am so very happy).

A review of my year in reading would need a separate post, and here it goes.

Now, the 365 little things, yes, this one was very loosely defined and I didn’t really work on it much. I should probably define it very clearly early on to make any meaningful attempts towards this goal. Maybe in 2024. Same goes for my 10 one-pot meals too.

Staying in touch with friends and family – I did my best to be a good friend and call or text as regularly as possible and I was surprised to find it trickle back to me in multiple ways. There were definitely some elusive friends and sometimes I was the elusive one given my circumstances, there are definitely a few that are far away and I should still find ways to stay connected with, but I am happy I am taking the time and thankful there are others who would do the same for me. I am grateful for all the friendships – big and small, long-distance and next-door; grateful for the small-talk, support, a shared smile or even just a wave of hi from across the street or across the globe.

All in all – I should really work on my health and fitness goals but I am quite happy with the others.

Goals aside, this year somehow didn’t feel like it slipped through like sand between my fingers. I felt and experienced each and every moment and made some great memories. I enjoyed traveling with family, movie nights and tending to a full house all summer. There were many highs, definitely some lows and days I was not on my best of behaviors/moods. But yet, I found kindness, love and fun and I embraced it with all my heart and am happy to pay it forward. Hoping for an equally full 2024.

How was your 2023? How did you do with your goals for the year? What was something you truly enjoyed? Please share.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday and a very happy new year!

Lost Between These Pages: A 2023 Reading Recap

My goal for this year was to read 30 books, with a focus on memoirs and popular science books. I read a total of 26 – 3 individual memoirs/autobiographies, 2 autobiographical essay collections. There were, sadly, no science books. I started Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee early this year but didn’t finish it yet. So my TBR for 2024 would probably be science-centric.

These were the books I read in the order I finished them, with links to my reviews (where available):

1. Carnality by Lina Wolff
2. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
3. The Enchanted Hour by Meghan Cox Gurdon
4. Foster by Claire Keegan
5. The Alice Network by Kate Quinn
6. The Husbands by Chandler Baker
7. Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson
8. This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett
9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
10. The House in the Cerulean Sea by T J Klune
11. Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren
12. Surely, You’re Joking Mr.Feynman by Richard P. Feynman
13. Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver
14. Paula by Isabel Allende
15. An Elderly Lady is upto No Good by Helene Tursten
16. When I Was Your Age, Volume One: Original Stories About growing Up by Amy Ehrlich
17. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
18. Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
19. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
20. Celtic tales: Fairy Tales and Stories of Enchantment from Ireland, Scotland, Brittany and Wales
21. The Latecomer by Jean Hanff Korelitz
22. The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Natsuko Imamura
23. The Lonely Hearts Book Club by Lucy Gilmore
24. The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz
25. The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi
26. The Star that Always Stays by Anna Rose Johnson

The Latecomer is my favorite book of this year. I am especially glad I returned to Brandon Sanderson’s world with Warbreaker. I hope to read more of his other works or probably revisit Mistborn in 2024. I wish I had written brief reviews for all of them. Wanted to read a few from NYT’s 10 best books of 2022 but could only read Demon Copperhead.

Here’s the goodreads’ lovely rendition of my year in books:

So that’s it for 2023. Please pour in your comments and suggestions for 2024 and share the books you read and liked this year.

See you in January with a to-read list or two of my own. Happy reading!

Book Review: The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi

The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi

Lakshmi is a woman who escapes her abusive marriage to find her own way in a newly independent India. She has nothing but her unique skillset – as a healer and a henna artist, with which she grows into this famous professional in Jaipur, sought after by both men and women of the affluent families, (albeit for totally different reasons). She carefully architects this life for herself, finding a place in the high society of Jaipur, and comes very close to owning a house in the wonderful city when Radha, a younger sister she has never known, enters her life. How Radha’s arrival alters Lakshmi’s life and threatens her dreams, and the constantly evolving dynamic between the duo is the central story of the book.

A combination of drama and intrigue, this book is fast-paced, with an interesting setting and some realistic characters. The story is set in 1955-56, with short glimpses into the past of the protagonist and her family. This book also has an array of other characters who contribute to a lively portrayal of the Jaipur elite. This was one of the few things this book did well. The setting was brilliantly written and I was truly transported into one of those Jaipur streets.
I was reminded of Austen’s Emma when the different families were introduced and Lakshmi dons the matchmaker garb, but, this book took a different turn and Lakshmi finds herself in a bigger mess.

The portrayal of a thirteen-year old Radha was another thing this book did well. She is a bundle of energy, curiosity, emotions, confusion and strength as any adolescent would be and her actions, or the lack thereof, drive the plot. Her character development and evolution of the relationship between the two sisters was written really well.

I also liked the resolution of Lakshmi-Hari relationship, and how they find their roles reversed towards the end – Hari, the opresssor turned into the man who helped the poor and needy, and Lakshmi, unwittingly, the woman who supported a form of oppression.

But, there are a few things that disappointed me.
First, I wasn’t sure about the availability of the DNA test or any other testing methods to verify fatherhood claims in the 1950s India. What could have been a huge burden(given the time period) was resolved easily with a blood test. Also, I felt like the Sameer-Parvati-Lakshmi dynamic should have been a little more complex than what it was – weighing heavily in favor of Lakshmi, making even the strongest threats to her existence seem trivial in the end.

Final words on the book:
I really liked it for the setting. The plot started out strong but weakened towards the end, because too many things just fall into place for Lakshmi and Radha – hospital bills were paid off, loans written off, the main burdens of Lakshmi were off her shoulders due to timely interventions of friends and benefactors and yet, she is worried about leaving her house and Jaipur. This made me not really root for her anymore. Also, her travails in the end seemed forced and could have been avoided, like the unnecessary scenes with the oil vendor and his wife. So yeah, 2.5/5.

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Book Review: The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Natsuko Imamura

The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Natsuko Imamura
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

We might all have come across an eccentric person or two on a train or a bus or, like our narrator, on a park bench, and wondered what that person’s story might be. The narrator of our story here doesn’t stop at wondering. She takes it up several notches and finds out all she can and some more about the eccentric woman she finds on the park bench everyday.

This is a story of a ‘woman in the purple skirt’, who sits on a park bench every evening and eats her cream bun in complete oblivion of the world around her. This is also the story of the ‘woman in yellow cardigan’, the narrator of our ominous story, who observes the woman in the purple skirt and wants to become friends with her. But she never finds the right moment and instead keeps following the woman and makes it her routine to observe and note important details about her on a daily basis.

This is an interesting and quick read that leaves us wondering how loneliness might drive someone into some weird obsession.
For a 200 page book this one packs a punch. I got pulled into the story and the “deliciously creepy” narration, as Kirkus reviews put it. I think “deliciously creepy” is just what it is. We understand it’s wrong but this woman pulls us all in into her obsession and we definitely can’t put the book down until we know all of it. Highly recommend.

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Book Review: Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Are 400 pages enough to contain the epic that is Mahabharata? Even though it is only from one perspective, that of the woman who might have been at the centre of it all? I don’t know. But Chitra Banerjee managed to have pulled it off somehow, briefly touching over almost all the major plot points of the epic and adding some flavour with Draupadi’s point of view. I liked the book for not showing Draupadi as a perfect person, for discussing her flaws as much as her virtues. I liked especially the chapters during and just before the great war dealing with the tumultuous emotional state of Draupadi.

But, that this is all a long internal monologue somehow didn’t sit well with me. I would have loved more dialogues, more conversations between Draupadi and the other characters, especially, her husbands, between her and Bhishma, Krishna or Kunti. The story also needed more show than tell (e.g., it was mentioned countless times that Draupadi tormented her husbands during the vanavasa, but there were no major incidents depicted graphically to invoke our empathy). Otherwise, this is a decent rendition true to the original epic. Of course it is probably too true in some cases whereas extremely creative with respect to the feelings of Draupadi towards Karna. It is the focal point of this narrative and is shown as one of the forces shaping the course of the story.

As for the title of this book, I wonder why the Palace was chosen. Did Draupadi really covet her Palace so much? Or was the Palace a metaphor to Draupadi’s own mind? I think it’s the latter. The book takes us through a labyrinthine stream of her thoughts conjuring love, anger, hatred, devotion, ambition, ego and envy – all playing tricks on Draupadi and pulling her strings. She was disillusioned only at the end, when it was too late.

Mahabharata is one story we can’t get enough of. Divakaruni lent voice to an important character in the story and added interesting points of view. This is a good read for all mythology buffs and great food for thought and discussion.



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How I navigate my kids’ sickness(es)

Short answer: By binge-watching TV.

Read on for an extra long answer that you might relate to and to learn how I made my peace with kids falling sick, over and over.

Every change in the season brings a different kind of sickness to our home. First it begins with the kid that goes to school and then the sibling. It’s almost always a cycle that brings us down for a week or two, preventing us from social gatherings and such. The first year this happened, it kind of left us all feeling guilty. Are we not giving her good food that keeps her immune from all the viruses? Are we doing something wrong? My kid’s first school year was 2021-22, the year after the dreadful two years of the Covid pandemic and the schools warily opened to welcome everyone back. We sent her to the PreK, sending her in each day with a mask and dutifully bathing her right after the school day and using hand sanitizers generously. But even with all the care in the world, some virus crept into her system and she fell ill like never before. It wasn’t Covid. It cycled through the whole family and left us wondering if we were doing the right thing sending her to school. It’s only PreK after all, and I am a stay-home mom, why not keep her home, keep her safe? We kept her from school for over a week as I debated within myself if I was doing the right thing for her and then did the usual ritual of sending her back in with doctor’s clearance etc. Then again in a month, during Christmas, the schools had to remain closed because there was a spike in the cases everywhere and we got a taste of what the families all over the world had struggled through for over two years – virtual classes. Once the schools began, it was just the same. Cold, cough, skip school for a few days, doctor’s note, rinse and repeat. Every bout of the cold made the house a sick zone – wheezing kids, Kleenex boxes on every surface, Zarbees bottles and medicines lined on the counter and one drowsy mom tending to the feverish, hallucinating kids screaming at night.

Over time, I have come to expect the sickness and accept it as part of life and part of growing up – both for my kids and myself. I have created some space for myself within all the craziness that accompanies a flu or a common cold. If I lay awake in the night, rocking my little one in my arms, I seek the company of a carefully selected TV series. I binge-watch episode after episode (on my phone), helping my kid sip water, rubbing her forehead, keeping her company as she drifts in and out of sleep, coughing in between. This helps me tend to her without grudging all the sleeplessness. It actually helped me manage my stress well too. The characters on the TV distract me from worrying myself to death over the little things. There’s only so much anyone can do when there’s cold or a flu. As any pead would say, fluids and plenty of rest is all you can give to a sick child and wait patiently for her to recover. So, to aid in my patience, I guiltlessly watched several series over the two years, over multiple sicknesses, including my own. I recommend this to any parent that needs some relief from all the stress that comes from caring for the little ones. Stop hunting for that miracle drug that would cure the cold overnight. Stop watching the home-remedy recipe videos on Youtube and watch a happy TV series or a movie instead. So without further ado, here I am sharing some of the series I watched over the last two years.

I probably started with Gilmore Girls. It is a classic featuring the story of a very friendly mother and daughter living in a small town called Stars Hollow. This little town has an array of characters, each very lovable and memorable, coming with their own quirks. Lauren Graham (Lorelai, the mom), is witty and very funny and though not very likable at all times, her relationship with her daughter really shines throughout the seven wonderful seasons. This show is my comfort watch, I watched it multiple times whenever I am lost between too many choices or I simply don’t have anything lined up. Must watch, highly recommend.

Little Things is another series I totally fell in love with. It is a story of a couple, Kavya and Dhruv and how they navigate their relationship amidst all the modern-day troubles. I like all the background songs of the series, my favorite being ‘Tu mere sang hai musalsal’. Lovely song.

The other series I enjoyed are Never Have I Ever, Working Moms – both featuring great friendships, mistakes, trauma and forgiveness. Also enjoyed Emily in Paris, some episodes of The Letdown. My current favorite is Firefly Lane. It is a story based on a book by Kristin Hannah, featuring friendship between two teenage girls, that matured into a strong bond that sustains them through hard times.

I gradually understood that I am gravitating towards series with everyday troubles, long friendships, mothers and daughters and overall happy vibes. I watched a few seasons but did not like Riverdale for being too dark and cheesy, Jane the Virgin for being overly dramatic and a bit too much like a Telugu soap opera.

Earlier I used to stress over a little runny nose or a sneeze from my kids. I used to dread the sleepless nights and drowsy mornings. Now, armed with the infinite number of series available to choose from, and a few that I could watch over and over, I feel so ready to handle any sickness head-on and I feel no guilt about it. I hope this changes soon and as my kids grow up, we can all watch TV in a relatively better health and better frame of mind but for now, pour in your recommendations for any good series and share your thoughts on how you navigate through sickness in your household.

Have a happy and healthy week.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom

I tread the world
But come longing into your arms
I touch the skies
Yet find my joy on your bosom
I lead my own little world
But I will be pampered in your lap
I feel low, I feel down
Mom, I come to you to fill my heart
I feel joy, I feel proud
Mom, I come to you to sing my song.
Mother, ma, amma, mommy, my sweet sweet mom,
You taught me joy
You taught me fun
When I was burdened with the demands of life
You taught me it isn’t a race to be won
You taught me life is in the little moments, not the milestones.
You always help me laugh my worries away
Mom, most importantly,
you have always been my greatest friend.

Happy mother’s day, Mom!

Reading Update – March, April 2023

March was very uneventful in terms of reading. I was jumping from one book to another like a wild monkey and was running out of time for my book club read. It was The Latecomer by Jean Hanff Korelitz which was due to be discussed in the first week of April. In the end I joined the discussion without having read it fully. I was also reading and rereading Paula, marking pages and making notes and browsing through a lot of other books but couldn’t focus on one long enough to finish it. Then I found this audiobook The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune on hoopla. I have been meaning to read it for sometime now and couldn’t have come across it at a better time. It was a very predictable story but with an interesting set of characters, each bringing their own dimension to the story. The story is set on this island in the cerulean sea, where an orphanage for the magical children is located. Six magical children live together under the care of a fiercely loyal master who took it upon himself to educate them and prepare them for the world and also to protect the orphanage from being shut down, no matter what. The future of this orphanage would be decided by one Linus Baker, who abides by the rules given to him and tries to evaluate the place on his visit. It is a good tale of mischief, fun, innocence and angst woven together. I enjoyed listening to the book. But the experience was somewhat spoiled by the backstory I gleaned from some Goodreads reviews about what the story was inspired from. So as of now, I haven’t got an opinion on the book. I just don’t know how to judge it in light of the new information. It was an enjoyable book with a good number of funny and lovable moments.

The other book was Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren. I found this as a ‘skip the line’ ebook from my library. Apparently it was a very popular book and usually has huge waiting times to borrow. But sometimes the library offers such books for 7 days as ‘skip the line’ collection and we can borrow many popular books there. So this one intrigued me and I jumped right into it. This was a faster read for me, couldn’t put it down at all. This is a well-structured and well-paced story of a woman who thought she moved on from her past, her first love. She gets engaged to an older guy. But when she chances upon her first love, eleven years after they had to part their ways, she wonders if she still loves him. He, on the other hand, reaffirms that he has never stopped loving her. Alternating between the current and past timelines, this was a beautiful story of two hearts growing to love each other without even realizing it and then parting ways, only to meet years later. I really enjoyed the teenage Macy and Elliott’s conversations among the bookshelves, particularly their usual question for each other, ‘Favorite word?’. They both share a lot of words over the many weekends they meet and the words relate to the ongoing story in someway or the other. I liked how the story develops. It was a beautiful weekend read.

Then I started Surely, You’re Joking Mr. Feynman by Richard P. Feynman. It is an interesting collection of anecdotes and experiences from the life of the Nobel-prize winning Physicist. Feynman is an inspiring personality. His life and story is as much about the little things he enjoyed as it is about the important contributions he made to the world. He inspires us to not lose the child in us, and stop having fun, ever. That little voice that wants us to go poke about and fiddle with things that escape our understanding and solve those little puzzles around us – we’d pay attention to that voice after reading this book. Absolutely loved the book.

So that was March and April, or rather, April readings for me. I will be back soon with more books and detailed reviews. So long!

Baby, happier

Happier by Marshmello is one of my favorite songs that I listen to often. I feel for the lover in the song who decides to leave his love and try to move on because he feels that it’s the only way for them to be happier. So I wanted to imagine how the woman might respond to his decision if she knew what was going on in his mind. And this is how I imagined her feeling.

It follows a similar tune but may be offtrack in some places. I should probably test that out loud. You might also just want to read the lyrics of the original song here and then read my post.

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Baby, oh baby
I heard
Oh, I heard you singing
You only make me happier
Only you make me happier
Oh don’t go
Don’t go

When my evening comes
I want to lay in your arms
And recount my joys and lows
Share with you all my woes

Every argument
Every word that’s unmeant
Sometimes I think I need to be just left alone
To think my thoughts and retrace my steps back to you

If only for a minute
If you can think of love
that binds us deep somehow
I just want to grow with you, dear
It feels like every minute
My heart just hums your name
Know that means we have to win

Konw that means we have to win

Baby, oh baby
I heard
Oh, I heard you singing
I want us to be together, I want us to be together..

When the morning comes
I need to see you smile
That cheery happy smile
Waiting to kiss me “hey, have a good day”

We have good times, we love each other
Now let’s just fly together and start afresh
Leaving this misery behind

If only for a minute
If you can think of love
that binds us deep somehow
I just want to grow with you, dear
It feels like every minute
My heart just hums your name
Know that means we have to win

Please don’t go
Oh don’t go
I will only be lonelier
Oh I will be lonelier
If you go..
What would I even be
Without you, oh dear

Don’t go… Don’t go..

My Narnia Moment

I recently went shopping and had this Narnia moment that literally put things in a new light for me. We went to a nearby mall to spend the winter day idly browsing or window shopping. Soon, I got carried away by all the beautifully displayed arrays of long dresses and tops. After much browsing and visualizing, I selected a few fancy outfits and waltzed into the trail room humming the most jubilant of tunes. I closed the door and then it happened. My very own Narnia moment. Instead of finding myself in a beautiful forest kingdom and playing queen, though, I found a middle-aged woman staring right at me from the mirror. Taken aback, I looked in the other mirror – same result. It didn’t take me much time to realize it’s me, but honestly, I was stunned. Greying hair, ok, I see it everyday, but where did all that body fat come from? And my face, isn’t it like a blank sheet of paper, plain with no marks? Now it looked like some kid wrote on it with magic ink and the trail room lighting is bringing all the different marks to life! Oh my god, those mirrors! So, that’s how I actually look now. In my mind, my display picture never changed from that fresh-out-of-the college (and of course, a parlor) image of my 20s self. Or sometimes, the one in that lovely bridal attire. The mirror across me shattered those images to pieces in a minute. And then I glanced at all those outfits I so wistfully brought in. They looked so elegant on the mannequins! I did not even want to try them on, what’s the point, I knew already that they belonged in someone else’s shopping bag. Now even the friendly smile of the woman who let me in felt too wide and mocking. I was like Narcissus, gazing at my own reflection, although not admiring it but definitely looking transfixed, when my phone rang and the shrill cries of my kids from the other side immediately broke the magic of the mirrors. I was out in seconds and reunited with my already impatient family who were relieved to learn that I wouldn’t be buying anything (and to my own relief, didn’t ask why). We returned home abandoning the shopping cart and all the long checkout lines.

But, you know, this experience made me realize something. Shopping malls are definitely not my cup of tea. All the cute (but totally unnecessary) things that look so beautiful on the shelves screaming at me to buy them at such a bargain, lose their cute appeal as soon as they were paid for. Once or twice, I made the mistake of bringing them home with hopes to decorate a desolate corner but the things usually end up being clutter. And then the clothes, lovely on the hangers but nowhere near when I try them on. Why take these huge jabs at self-esteem when I can browse and shop safely from the comfort of my home and try them on in front of my loyal mirror? So I realized I am better off spending my holidays among the trees and the little bunnies that I can look at for free. The swallows on the trees and the wide open skies that need not be put into a shopping cart to bring me joy. Or the fallen leaves, pebbles and pinecones I can gather as many as I can as little souvenirs. I can just be myself in the nature and not worry about anything at all, especially stuff like mirrors and appearances.

This realization was just in time as the Spring is here and the world around me gets ready to bask in the sun and bloom in an abundance of color. No more wasted weekends inside the malls trying to scout for a great find. I hope to spend good time in the ‘jocund company’¹ of green trees and little creatures, and bring home the wealth of those memories to bring me ‘bliss in solitude’². Great outdoors, here I come!

References: 1, 2: I wandered lonely as a cloud by Wordsworth